ヴィッパサナ瞑想
学べば学ぶほど、私が体験したことが自分の想像したものではなかったと確信することができた。
年がら年中私の傍にいるもの
それでも、鬱にもなるし躁状態にもなる。
たしかに、コントロールができていないから苦しむ
ただし、それすらも自分が選択したいき方だという確信もまたモテた。
今、トラウマ治療を受けている。
この出会いも良かった。
喜怒哀楽を感じて生きる。それが私の決めた生き方。
その中で、つまずいてきたのは「愛されたい」という思う。
ただそれも、脳神経科学で解明されてきた。「オキシトシンとオキシトシン受容体が関係している」
自分の欠落している部分があるからこそ、いろいろなことを悩むことができた。
答えは必ずあり、因果応報を納得いくまで深堀りする。
それがこれから今までも、これからもそうやって生きていくのだと思う。
同じような苦しみを持っている人のためにも、腑に落ちるまで探し続ける。
「仕方がない」という解決策ではない。
もっと先がある。
そして、求不得苦が当たり前ではなく、感謝に変えることができると思う。
今、ヴィパッサナ瞑想とサマタ瞑想とマインドフルネス瞑想がごっちゃになっているが
改めて、もう一つの瞑想方法しようかと思う。ヴィパッサナ2.0とでもするか。
19 The Discourse to the Niganthas
原典 THE MADHYAMA ĀGAMA
(MIDDLE-LENGTH DISCOURSES) VOLUME I より
No. 19
Thus have I heard: At one time, the Buddha was staying among the Sakyans, in Dvadaha.
There the World-honored One told the monks:
The Niganthas hold this view done in the past. If past karma is eradicate through asceticism, and no new {karma} is created, then all karma comes to cease; the cessation of suffering being attained, the end of suffering is attained.
I therefore approached them, and on arriving, I asked:
Niganthas, do you hold this view and declarer: "Whatever one experiences i caused by what was done in the past. If past karma is eradicated through asceticism, and no new {karma} is created, then all karma comes to cease; all karma having ceased, the cessation of suffering is attained; the cessation of suffering being attained, the end of suffering is attained"?
They replied: "That is so, Gautama." I also asked those Niganthas:
Do you personally have clear knowledge that "I existed in the past," or " I did not exist into the past"; "I did evil ih the past,", or "I did not do evil in the past": or "This much of the suffering that I created has has not yet been exhausted," or "When this has been exhausted, when its exhaustion is attained, then, by practicing, I will realize in this lifetime the eradication of all unwholesome sates and the attainment of manifold wholesome states"?
They replied:"No, Gautama," I also said to those Niganthas:
{You have affirmed that} you do not personally have clear knowledge that "I exist in the past,", or I did not exist in the past";"I did evil in the past," or "I did not do evil in the past"; "This much of the suffering that I created has already been exhausted," or"This much of the suffering that I created has not been exhausted," or "This much of the suffering that I created has not been exhausted," then, by practicing, I will realize in this lifetime the eradication of all unwholesome states and the attainment of manifold wholesome state." How, then can you claim: "Whatever one experiences is caused by what was done in the past. If past karma is eradicated through asceticism, and no new {karma} is created, all karma comes to cease; the cessation of suffering being attained, the end of suffering is attained." ?
Niganthas, if you personally had clear knowledge that: "I existed in the past," or "I did not exist in the past"; "I did evil in the past," or "I did not exit in the past"; "I did evil in the past," or "I did not do evil in the past," "This much of the suffering that I created has already been exhausted," or "This much of the suffering that I created has not been exhausted," or "When this has been exhausted, when its exhaustion is attained, then, by practicing, I will realize in this lifetime the eradication of all unwholesome sates and the attainment of manifold wholesome sates," then, Niganthas, you could claim: "Whatever one experiences is caused by what what was done in the past. If past karma is eradicated through asceticism, and no new {karma} is created, all karma come to cease; all karma having ceased, the cessation of suffering is attained; the cessation of suffering being attained, the end of suffering is attained.
Niganthas, suppose that a man's body has been wounded by a poisoned arrow and, because of being wounded by this poisoned arrow, extreme pain arises. Then, our of sympathy and concern about ht wound, his kinsmen and relatives call a surgeon to pull and with a sharp knife cuts the wound open; and while the would is being cut open, extreme pain arises again. Having cut the wound open, the surgeon probes for the metal arrowhead; and while he would is being cut open, extreme pain arises again. Having probed and found the arrowhead, he pulls it out; and while he is pulling it out, extreme pain arises again. Having pulled out The arrowhead, he dresses and bandages the wound; and while he is bandaging is, extreme pain arises again. After the arrowhead has been pulled out, that man regains his viog and feels well. Without any damage to his faculties, he recovers and is just as he was before.
Niganthas, that man, personally having clear knowledge, thinks: "Formerly I was wounded by a poisoned arrow, and because of the extreme pain arose. Then, out of sympathy and concern about the wound, my kinsmen and relatives called a surgeon to pull out The arrow, for the sake of my benefit and well0being. The Surgeon came, and with a sharp knife cut the wound open; and while the would was being cut open, extreme pain arose again. Having cut the wound open, the surgeon probed for the metal arrowhead; and Having probed and found the arrowhead, he pulled it out.; and while he was pulling it out, extreme pain arouse again. Having pulled out the arrowhead, he dressed and bandaged the wound; and while he was bandaging it, extreme pain arose again. After the arrowhead had been pulled out, I regained my vigor and felt well. Without any damage to my faculties, I recovered and was just as I had been before."
In the same way, Niganthas, if you personally had clear knowledge that "I existed in the past," or "I did not exit in the past"; "I did evil in the past," "I did not do evil in the past"'; "This much of the suffering that I created has already been exhausted," or "This much of suffering that I created has not been exhausted"; or "When this has been exhausted, when its exhaustion is attain, then, by practicing, I will realize in this lifetime the eradication of all unwholesome states and the attainment of manifold wholesome states," then, Niganthas, you could claim: "Whatever on experiences is caused by what was done in the past. If past karma is eradicated through asceticism, and no new {karma] is created, all karma comes to cease; all karma having ceased, the cessation of suffering is attained; the cessation of suffering being attained, the end of suffering is attained." I asked them in this way, but I did not see any of the Niganthas able to answer me, saying: "Gautama, it is so," or "It is not so."
Again, I asked the Nighathas: "If the Niganthas {engaged in } strong striving and strong asceticism, will at that time strain pain arise in the Niganthas?"
They replied: "Yes, Gautama,"
{The Buddha said:} "If the Niganthas {engage in } middle striving and middling asceticism, will at the time middling pain arise in the Niganthas?"
They relied: "Yes, Gautama."
{The Buddha said:} "If the Nigantahs {engage in } weak striving and weak asceticism, will at the time weak pain arise in the Niganthas?"
They replied: "Yes, Gautama"
{The Buddha said:}
That is to say, {when} the Niganthas {engage in } strong striving and strong asceticism, at that time strong pain arises in the Niganthas; {when } they {engage in } middling striving and middling asceticism, at that time middling pain is arises in the Niganthas; {when} they {engage in} wake striving and weak asceticism, at that time weak pain arises in the Niganthas.
When the Niganthas {engage in } strong striving and strong asceticism, at that time strong pain is calmed by the Niganthas; { when } they {engage in } middling striving and middling asceticism, at that time middling pain is calmed by the Niganthas; {when} they {engage in} weak striving and weak asceticism, at that time weak pain is calmed by the Niganthas.
Whether they act like this or do not act like this to calm that extreme pain, that great and heavy pain, it should be known that the Niganthas are {simply} producing {their own } pain in the present life.
But the Niganthas are enveloped by ignorance, possessed by ignorance, saying: "Whatever once experiences is caused by what was ones in the past. If past karma is eradicated through asceticism, and no new {karma} is created, all karma come to cease; all karma having ceased, the cessation of suffering is attained; the cessation of suffering being attained, the end of suffering is attained."
I asked them in this way, but I did not find any Nigntha able to answer me, saying: "Gautama, it is so," or "It is not so."
I also asked the Niganthas: "Niganthas, if there is an action whose result is to be experienced as happiness, can that action, through striving and through asceticism, be tuned into having suffering as its result?"
They replied: "No, Gautama,"
{I asked them further} " Niganthas, if there is an action whose result is to be experienced as suffering, can that action, through striving and through asceticism, be turned into having happiness as its result?"
They replied: "No, Gautama,"
"Niganthas, if there is an action whose result is to be experienced in this lifetime, can that action, through striving and through asceticism, be turn into having its result in a later life?"
They replied: "No, Gautama,"
"Niganthas, if there is an action whose result is to be unexperienced in a later life, can that action, through striving and through asceticism, be turned into having its result in this lifetime?"
They replied: "No, Gautama,"
"Niganthas, if there is an action whose result has not yet matured, can that action, through striving and through asceticism, be turned into having its result matured?"
They replied: "No, Gautama,"
"Nignathas, if there is an action whose result has matured, can that action, through striing and through striving and through asceticism, be made otherwise?"
They replied: "No, Gautama,"
{The Buddha said:}
That is to say, Niganthas, an action whose result is to be experienced as happiness, that action cannot, through striving and through asceticism, be turned into having suffering as its result.
Niganthas, and action whose result is to be experienced as suffering, that action cannot, through striving and through asceticism, be turned into having happiness as it result.
Niganthas, an action whose result is to be experienced in this lifetime, that action cannot, through striving and through asceticism, be turned into having its result in a later life.
Niganthas, an action whose result is to be experience in a later life, that action cannot, through striving and through asceticism, be turned into having its result in this lifetime.
Nignathas, an action whose result has not yet matured, that action cannot through striving and through asceticism, be turned into having its result matured.
Niganthas, an action whose result has matured, that action cannot, through striving and through asceticism, be made otherwise.
Therefore, Nigantthas, your effort is in vain, your striving is empty and futile.
Then those Niganthas told me: "Gautama, we have a venerable teacher, named Nigantha Nataputta, who proclaims thus:"
Niganthas, if you created evil karma in the past, then that karma can be completely extinguished by means of this asceticism. {And} if you now restrain your body, speech, and mind, then through this {restraint} you will not create any further evil karma.
Again, I asked those Niganthas: "Do you believe in {your} venerable teacher, the Nigantha Nataputta, without having any doubts?"
They replied: " Gautama, we believe in {our} venerable teacher, the Nigantha Nataputta, without having any doubts."
Again, I said to those Niganthas:
There are five things, which may have a twofold result in the present life. They are: belief, liking, oral tradition, memory, and well considered vies. Niganthas, person who himself says what is untrue, could {he regard that untrue statement} as believable, as likeable, as traditional, as memorable, as a well-considered vies?
They replied: "Yes, Gautama,"
Then I said further to those Niganthas:
{But given that} it is an untrue statement, how could it be believable, how could it be likeable, how could it be traditional, how could it be memorable, how could it be we contemplated? {Yet} the person who himself says waht is untrue has belief {in it}, has liking {for it} , has heard {it as tradition}, has memory {of it}, has consideration.
{Monks,} if the Niganthas speak thus, then they incur a fivefold censure according to the Dharma and can be reproached. What are the five?
If all the pleasure and pain that these beings now experience is caused by actions done {in the past, then the Niganthas {mast} have done evil in the past. Why? Because that would be The reason why the Niganthas now experience extreme pain. This is the first {ground} on which the Niganthas can be reproached.
Again, if al the pleasure and pain the beings experience is caused by the company they kept, then the Niganthas {must} have kept evil company in the past. Why? Because that would be why the Niganthas now experience extreme pain. This is the second {ground} on which the Nignathas can be reproached.
Again, if all the pleasure and pain the beings experience is caused by destiny, then Niganthas {must} have had an evil destiny in the past. Why? Because that would be why the Niganthas now experience extreme pain. This is the third {ground} on which the Niganthas can be reproached.
Again, if all the pleasure and pain that beings experience is caused by destiny, then the Niganthas { must} have had an evil destiny in the past. Why? Because that would be why the Niganthas now experience extreme pain. This is the third {ground} on which the Niganthas can be reproached.
Again, if all the pleaser and pain that being experiences is caused by views, then the Niganthas {must} have held evil views in the past. Why? Because that would be why the Niganthas now experience extreme pain, This is the fourth {ground} on which the Nigantahs can be reproached.
Again, if all the pleasure and pain that beings experience is caused by a supreme god, then in the past the Niganthas {must} have been created by an evil super me god. Why?
Because that would be why the Niganthas now experience extreme pain. This is the fifth {ground} on which the Niganthas can be reproached.
If in the past the Niganthas did evil, ... kept evil company... had an evil destine,... held evil views, {evil views, {if there was } and evil supreme god and they were created by this evil supreme god; and if because of this the Niganthas now experience extreme pain --- then the Niganthas now experience extreme pain --- then for these reasons, on these grounds, the Niganthas can be reproached.
The Dharma, which I came to know by myself and realized by myself, and which I have proclaimed to you, cannot be refuted, cannot be defiled, cannot be prevailed over by any renunciate, brahmin, god, Mara, Brahms, or anyone else in the world. Why is that Dharma, which I came to know by myself and realized by myself, and which I have proclaimed to you, cannot be refuted, cannot be defiled, cannot be prevailed over by any renunciate, brahmin, god, Mara, Brahms or anyone else in the world?
If a monk abandons unwholesome bodily actions and practices wholesome bodily action, {if he} abandons unwholesome verbal and mental actions and practices wholesome verbal and mental actions, then in regard to future suffering [due to present unwholesome actions} he personally, know: "there will be no {such} future suffering for me". In accordance with the Dharma he attains happiness and will not discard it.
Aspiring to eliminate a {particular} cause of suffering , he may practice with {that} aspiration ; or, aspiring to eliminate a {particular} cause of suffering, he may practice equanimity {in regard to that} aspiration.
If, aspiring to eliminate a {particular} cause of suffering, he may practice with {that} aspiration; or, aspirating to eliminate a {particular} cause of suffering, he may practice equanimity {in regard to that} aspiration.
If, aspirating to eliminate a {particular} cause of suffering, he practices with {that} aspiration; and if he then develops his practice with {that} aspiration and eliminates that {particular} cause of suffering, he may practice equanimity {in regard to that} aspiration.
If, aspiring to eliminate a {particular} cause of suffering, he practices equanimity {in regard to that} aspiration; and if he then develops his practice with equanimity and eliminates that {particular cause of suffering}, then the {corresponding} suffering come to be extinguished.
Then, the monk has this thought:
According to one's behavior, according to one's deed, unwholesome sates arise and wholesome state cease. If eliminate my suffering for myself, then unwholesome states will cease and wholesome states will arise. Now, I would better eliminate y suffering for myself.
Then he eliminates the suffering and, once the suffering has been eliminated, unwholesome states cease and wholesome state arise, and he no longer needs to eliminate suffering. Why? Because, monks, his original purpose has been achieved, it is not the case that he might need to eliminate suffering again.
Monks, it is just as a fletcher may use a template to straighten an arrow, but once the arrow has been straightener, he has no further use for the template. Why? Because the person's original purpose has been achieved, it is not the case that he might need to use the template again.
In the same way , a monk has this thought*
According to one's behavior, according to one's deeds unwholesome states arise and wholesome states cease. If I eliminate my suffering for myself, then unwholesome states will cease and suffering for myself.
Then he eliminates the suffering and, once the suffering has been eliminated, unwholesome states cease and wholesome state arise, and he no longer needs to eliminate The suffering. Why? Because his original purpose has been achieved, it is not the case that he might need to eliminate this suffer ring again.
Monks, suppose that a{certain} man loves a woman, is attached to her, and has hight regard for her; but the woman instead gets talking with someone else, exchanges greeting with him, and they go off and sped the night together. Would, because of this, physical and mental suffering, vexation, and extreme grief and sorrow arise in the man?
The monks replied:
Yes indeed, World-honored One. And why? That man loves the woman, is attached to her and has high regard for her; but then the woman instead gets talking with someone else, exchanges greetings with him, and they go off to spend the night together. How could, because of this, physical and mental suffering, vexation, and extreme grief and sorrow not arise in that man?"
{The Buddha:}
Monks, suppose that man thins like this:
I love that woman, and have high regard for her; but that woman instead got talking with another man, exchanged greetings with him, and they went off to spend the night together. Because of my suffering and sadness, shouldn't I now rather cut off my love and attachment for that woman?
Then that man, because of his own suffering and sadness, cut off his love and attachment for that woman. If that woman, as before, get talking with someone else, exchanges greeting with him, and they go off to spend the night together, would again, because of that, physical and mental suffer in, vexation, and extreme grief and sorrow arise in him?
The monks replied:
No, World-honored One. And why not? Because that man no longer has a feeling of love and attachment for that woman. If that woman, as before, gets talking with someone else, exchanges greetings with him, and they go off to send that night together it is not te case that, because of that, physical and mental suffering, vexation, and extreme grief and sorrow will arise in him.
{The Buddha:}
In the same way, a monk has this thought:
According to one's actions, according to one's deeds, unwholesome sates arise and wholesome sates cease. If eliminate the suffering, then the unwholesome states will cease and wholesome sates will arise. Now, I would better eliminate my suffering.
Then he eliminates the suffering and, once the sufferings has been eliminated, unwholesome sates cease and wholesome sates arise, and he no longer needs to eliminate the suffering. Why? Because his original purpose has been achieved, he nee not again eliminate the suffering.
Then he has the further thought:
Whatever the cause of {this} suffering that was to be eliminated, I have eliminated it; yet with regard to desire {itself} it is a before -- it is not eliminated. Now, I would better seek to eliminate desire!
So he seeks to eliminate desire [itself}. In order to eliminate that desire, he dwells alone, in seclusion, resorting to secluded place-- to the base of a tree, to an empty and quiet place, a mountain top, a cave, {a place} in the open air, a heap of straw; or he goes into a forest, or to a cemetery.
Having resorted to a secluded place¥¥ to the base of a tree, to an empty and quiet place --
he spreads his sitting mat, sits down cross-legged, with upright body and upright intention, and sets up mindfulness fore him.
He abandons covetousness, his mind is free from envy. Seeing another(s wealth and lifestyle, he does not give rise to thoughts of covetousness: "If only I could get that!"
He purifies his mind of covetousness; and similarly of hatred, sloth and torpor, restlessness and worry.
He abandons doubt and overcomes confusion; without hesitation in regard to wholesome sates, he purifies his mind of doubt and confusion.
Having abandoned these five hindrances, which are imperfections of the mind that weaken wisdom, having abandoned desire, abandoned evil and unwholesome sates, ...( and so on up to ) he dwells having attained the fourth absorption. When he has attained concentration in this way, his mind being purified, without blemish, free of vexation, malleable, well established, having attained imperturbability, he directs his mind to the realization of the higher knowledges of the destruction of the taints.
He knows as it really is: "this is suffering"; he knows; "this is the origin of suffering"; he knows: "this is the cessation of suffering"; he knows as it really is: "these are the taints"; he knows: " this is the origin of the taints"; he knows:" this is the cessation of the taints"; he knows as it really is "this is the path to the cessation of the taints; "
Knowing thus, seeing thus, his mind is liberated from the taint of sensual desire, from the taint of existence, and from the taint of ignorance. Being liberated, he knows he is liberated. He understands as it really is: Birth is ended, the holy life has been established, what was to be done has been done; there will not be another existence."
The Tathagata who has, in this way, rightly liberated the mind, gains five kinds of praise, {praise that is} according to the Dharma, undisputed, desirable, and highly regarded. Ware the five?
If all the pleasure and pain that beings now experience is caused by deed in the past , then the Tathagata {must] have don sublime actions in the past; and because of that, Tathagata now experiences a noble happiness that is free of taints. Quiescent and calm, he has attained happiness and awakening. This is the first praise gained by the Tathagata.
Again, if all The pleasure and pain the beings experience is cause by the company they have kept, then the Tathagata { must have] kept good company in the past; and because of that, that Tathagata now experiences a noble happiness free of taints. Quiescent and calm, he has attained happiness and awakening. This is the second praise gained by the Tathagata.
Again, if all the pleasure and pain the beings experience is caused by destiny, then the Tathagata {must have} had a good destiny in the past; and because of that, the Tathagata now experiences a noble happiness free of taints. Quiescent and calm, he has attained happiness and awakening. This is the third praise gained by the Tathagata.
Again, if all the pleasure and pain the beings experience is caused by holding views, then the Tathagata {must have} held good views in the past; and because of that, the Tathagata now experiences a noble happiness free of taints. Quiescent and calm, he attained happiness and awakening. This is the forth praise gained by the Tathagata.
Again, if all the pleasure and pain the beings experience is caused and created by a supreme god, then the Tathagata { must have been created by { a good supreme god in the past; and because of that, the Tathagata now experiences a noble happiness and awakening, This is the fifth praise gained by the Tathagata.
Thus, because of the Tathagata's former good action, good company, good destiny, good vies, and existence of a good supreme god, the good supreme god by which the Tathagata was created -- because of these the Tathagata now experiences a noble happiness free from taints, is quiescent and calm, having attained happiness and awakening. For these reasons, the Tathagata now gains five kind of praise.
There are five causes and conditions owing to which sorrow and suffering arise in the mind. What are the five?
{The fist is} entanglement is sexual desire; because of entanglement in sexual desire, sorrow and suffering arise in the mind. Similarly entanglement in hatred,.. sloth and torpor, ...restlessness and worry, entanglement in doubt; because of entanglement is doubt, and suffering arise in the mind, These are the five causes and conditions, owing to which sorrow and suffering arise in the mind.
There are five causes and conditions owing to which sorrow and suffering disappear from the mind, then an abandoning entanglement in sexual desire, the sorrow and suffering will cease. Owing to entanglement in sexual desire, sorrow and suffering have arisen in the mind; but on attaining the goal in this lifetime, there is freedom from vexation and affliction, constantly present and unchanging, as is known to the noble ones and seen by the noble ones.
In the same way, if one is entangled in hatred... sloth and torpor ... restlessness and worry... if one is entangled in doubt, and because of entanglement in doubt, sorrow and suffering have arisen in the mind, then on abandoning entailment in doubt, the sorrow and suffering will cease. Owing to entanglement in doubt, sorrow and suffering have arisen in the mind; but on attaining the goal in this lifetime, there is freedom from vexation and affliction, constantly present and unchanging, as is known to the noble ones and seen by the noble ones. These are the five cause and conditions owing to which sorrow and suffering disappear from the mind.
Again, there is another attains of the goal in this lifetime, which is free from vexation and affliction, constantly present and unchanging, as is know to the noble ones and seen by the noble ones. What is that other attains of the goal in this lifetime, which is free from vexation and affliction constantly present and unchanging, as is known to the noble ones and seen by the noble ones? Is it the noble eightfold path:
right view ... (and so on up to) right concentration --- these eight. This is another attains of the goal in this lifetime, which is free from vexation and affliction, constantly present and unchanging, as is known to the noble ones and see by the noble ones.
This is what the Buddha said. Having heard the Buddha 's word, the monks were delighted and remember them well.
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マインドレス
昨夜、お釈迦様の聖求教のことを考えてフワフワ上の空で豚バラ切りながら息子に話しかけたら豚バラの代わりに自分の左中指切って痛みで現実に戻ってパニック！右手で傷を抑え、右足でコンロの火を消そうとして右足を上げたら左足でバナナの皮を踏んで滑って思いっ切り頭打った。散々泣きわめいて息子に助けを求めてた。右往左往しながら必死で紐で止血をしてくれた。頭も痛いし、手も痛い。きつく縛ってくれたので、ホッとしたのも束の間。。
2〜3歩私から離れたと思った息子が
くるッと踵を返して。。
まだ上向きに寝転んで左手を宙に上げてる私の左中指の止血している紐を
「ぎゅーーーーー！」って締め直した！！
私「ギャーーーー！！何やってるの？！指がちぎれる！！！」
なんか、本人的には締めたりなかったようだ
「早く！！！！はやく切って！！！！指が！！！いたーーーーーいーーーー」
我に返った息子が慌てて、鋏で切った！
すると、血が一気に傷のところにぐわぅ！！
あーーーーーーーいたいｲｲｲーーー
もう、ぐちゃぐちゃ（笑）
でも、なんか、それが可笑しくて
笑い始めたら止まらなったwww
なんとなく二人で大笑いしてバンドエイドして落ち着いたら笑い疲れて頭痛がしたのでバファリン飲んで寝た。
で24時間過ぎた。。
だるい。。。
初めて、急性ストレス反応体験した
私はたいていマインドフルネスじゃないと
壊すか、失くすか、怪我する
というお話でした。
今日、学んだ言葉
参考文献：阿含経（英語版）、聖求教（英語版）、般若心経
ガーテーガーテハーラーガーテ パラソガーテー ボーデーソヴァカー
往った者よ、往った者よ、彼岸に往った者よ、完全に彼岸に往った者よ、悟りよ、幸あれ
参考文献：Wikipedia 宇宙の出発：虚時間、粒子の対生成ｖｓ対消滅
「対生成にかかわるエネルギーレベル（波長）の光子とはガンマ線を指す。これが原子核などに入射（衝突）すると相互作用により運動エネルギーを失うが、これは特殊相対性理論で言う静止エネルギーとなり、対生成を確率的に発生する。」Wikipedia
https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%AF%BE%E7%94%9F%E6%88%90
静止エネルギー：ガンマ線
静止エネルギー（せいしエネルギー、英: rest energy[1]）は、アインシュタインの特殊相対性理論によって示された、質量が存在することにより生じるエネルギー。質量
の物体は、光速
を用いて、
で表される静止エネルギーを持つ。運動エネルギーやポテンシャルエネルギーとは異なるもので、質量が存在するだけで生じる。
この式は、質量を持つ物体には膨大なエネルギーが内在していることを示している。そして、実際に質量をエネルギーに変換することは可能である。例えば、電子と陽電子を衝突させると、これらの粒子が対消滅し、元の質量に応じたエネルギーが発生する。また、原子核反応でエネルギーが発生する場合には、反応後の質量はわずかに減少するし（質量欠損）、一般の化学反応でも、非常にわずかではあるが質量が変化する。
https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E9%9D%99%E6%AD%A2%E3%82%A8%E3%83%8D%E3%83%AB%E3%82%AE%E3%83%BC
言葉にするなら。。
宗教の涅槃と空と無と有
ほとんどの宗教、信仰の神はいう
はじめに言葉があったと
名前をつけて初めて存在する
実感する
見たことの無いものでも、名前をつければ、存在させることができる
無とはどんな存在なのだろうか。
有の世界はあっても無の世界は無い
無と有でないことを指す
空は有でもなければ無でもない
空は非想非非想処、有頂天
アートマンは無に到る
無は有に対するVOID
有でないし、空でもない
無想と非想は似てるが違う
非想には無分別知が有る
無色界（むしきかい・ウィキペディア）
非想非非想処（非有想非無想処、有頂天とも）無色界の最高の天。何物も無しと思惟する定を超えて極めて昧劣な想のみが存在する定。有における天界の最上部であるため、有頂天とも呼ばれる。
無所有処 無色界の第3天。何物も無しと思惟する定。
識無辺処 無色界の第2天。識は無限大であると思惟する定。
空無辺処 無色界の第1天。定を抑える一切の想を滅し、空間が無限大であると思惟する定。
https://ja.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E7%84%A1%E8%89%B2%E7%95%8C
此縁性（しえんしょう・ウィキペディア）
此（これ）が有れば彼（かれ）が有り、此（これ）が無ければ彼（かれ）が無い。此（これ）が生ずれば彼（かれ）が生じ、此（これ）が滅すれば彼（かれ）が滅す。
このように、「此」に縁って「彼」が規定され、有無生滅する関係を表しているので、これを此縁性[2]と呼ぶ。
https://ja.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E6%AD%A4%E7%B8%81%E6%80%A7
クウォークの対生成と対消滅を彷彿とさせる
エネルギーとエントロピーと動静と静止
エネルギーの拡大
エントロピーが成長
動くか動かないか
止まっているものは何か
不思議なこと②
こんな夢を見たこんな夢をみたオムニバス偏
人の車の中を勝手に漁る外国人の子どもの親に怒鳴りつける話、
架空のNPO法人の看板づくり7000縁、おつりの3000縁投げ銭にする刺繍がうまいよっちが出てきた。
ロケット体験アトラクションを体験、途中で抜けだして、街を散策、青森出身で保険会社勤務の男にナンパされる夢。「会社に彼女に会いに行くからって抜けてきた。いいでしょ？」っていう。まったく見たことのない男。
歯が3本抜けている。まだ30代前半か？ 保険会社に勤めているといって、名刺を渡さず何故か、健康保険証のコピーを渡そうとする。
この人は歯を矯正したら運命が開かれるのに、と漠然と感じながら話しを聞いている。
「ごめんなさい、今ロケット体験中なんで、戻らないと」といって、見上げると 左側には 高い高い 焼却炉のような湯気か煙を出している塔があって、右側に ロケットアトラクションのがある 観光地風のお店が並ぶ遊園地がある。
時々、段々畑の遊園地を見る。。。
特に意味はないけれど、オムニバスの夢。
ロケット体験
広いトイレ
ナンパ
青森
抜けてる、したったらずな男の人
健康保険
よっち、おつりを投げ置く
看板づくり
英語で知らない親子を叱る
